Well the day is finally here! The big 5-0! As if I didn’t already know it was coming when I received my very own AARP invitation to join a few weeks back with the offer of receiving a cooler as a gift. Score! Anyways to be honest…this is a day filled with mixed emotions. I feel so blessed and grateful for the life I have lived to this point and look forward to what the future holds. When some people say that age is just a number I believe it is and just like a title is given to you for a job you do, it is what you do behind the scenes that truly defines who you are (and that position you hold) each and every day. The wrinkles around my eyes are not signs of aging to me but a reminder of how much happiness and laughter I’ve had over the years. I call them “wrinkles of happiness.” They say laughter is good for the soul even at your own expense at times, which never bothered me, as I usually bring that on through my endless Dad jokes and puns. What can I say….its a gift!
Now please don’t get me wrong as like anyone else, life has not been all sunshine and rainbows. I’ve encountered loss from family to friends. Setbacks in my life are par for the course. I now know that in life setbacks are really setups for comebacks. However, I know that without these things occurring I would not have become who I am today. For some time, there was a period where I was actually worried about turning 50. Why might you ask? Let me address the elephant in the room of my life that has been on my mind for the past several months. As you may or may not know I am now the same age as my Dad who unexpectedly passed away due to a heart attack at the age of 50 during Homecoming week of my Senior year. It just seems so unimaginable that an age that seemed so far in the distance at the time when I was 17 has now come front and center. Now today’s entry is by no means meant to be a “Debbie Downer” as I’ve come to the realization that my life is what I make it out to be. Nothing is predetermined other than one day we will all transition to the other side where it is where I believe we will be reunited with family and friends we have lost along the way. Many of the pages in my story are still unwritten as are yours. I can either let the past and the fear of the unknown future consume my present or I can choose to rise above and live life to the fullest each and every day. I have chosen the latter because life is what you make of it.
So when I think back on my first 50 years there is so much for what I am grateful for but here are the things that stand out in the forefront:
Family and Friends
I believe you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with and I know I hit the jackpot with my friends and family. I cannot separate the two as to me friends are like family but I must thank certain people within my family first.
My wife Joyce and I have been together for nearly 30 years (married 26 as of this writing) and she is undoubtedly my best friend. She inspires me to be a better man, husband and father every day. I love you. My daughter Alexis is who I am most proud of and blessed to be her Dad. Having the opportunity to watch her grow up to become who she is today has been sheer joy. She has a heart of gold and my hope is that I’ve been everything she could have hoped to have in a Dad as she has done for me as a daughter. I love you. To my other “children” which have been our Dogs: Bailey, Dakota, Buddy and now Hazel. You have taught me all about unconditional love and I love each of you for adding such joy to my life.
To my parents thank you for raising me right. Your teachings, love and years of modeling of how to treat others and see the good in others has never been forgotten. Mom, as you know, you have always been the wind beneath my wings, taking on so much responsibility when Dad died and just always being there for me and Bill. It is something that I’m so appreciative of each and every day. Dad-We talk all the time so you know how I feel about you. :). To my beloved second set of parents my mother and father-in-law Mary and Harry: I am so lucky to have had you both in my life and learned so much from you both. There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss you or think about you. I hope I’ve made you proud of who I’ve become and as I continue to strive to be the best husband and father I can be.
To my brother Bill: I am proud to be your older brother and who you have become. Dad would be so proud. To the rest of my family ranging from my Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, brother and sister-in-laws, nieces and nephews: Each of you all hold a special place in my heart. Memories we’ve either made while I grew up or the memories we are making now as adults, are what I cherish most. You’ve all have played a significant role in who I am today.
To my friends: You have all been there in the many stages of my life. As far back as I can remember for those who lived on or nearby Walnutwood Court in Germantown, Maryland, to my high school years hanging out playing basketball and volleyball or Madden while more importantly being there for me when my Dad passed away to those who have been with me throughout my career as an educator and author as well as other moments of my adult life: thank you all. Words cannot express how much you have meant to me and my life.
My students
From my days starting out at Schrader Elementary as a teacher and Math Coach (with Cotee River, Gulfside and Cotee River again in between) to my last days as assistant principal at Sunray Elementary I hope that what you learned from me will or has reached far beyond the classroom and you remember three things:
- If it’s to be, it’s up to me.
- It’s a poor frog who doesn’t praise it’s own pond.
- Pay it forward.
My colleagues
Whether I was being a part of a team of Teachinf, Coaching, the Northwest Regional Team/Math Team, ARM team or as one of your school based leaders, I hope that I led or continue with a servant leadership mindset. The titles that I have held were just that, titles. It is only what I did behind them that mattered to me most. My mantra has always been to serve, lead and inspire. I sincerely hope I did just that and you felt you were treated with the utmost respect and that I showed you by even telling you how much I valued you for who you are. My sincere hope is my authenticity shined or continues to shine through.
In closing today’s entry I’ve always tried to hold true to my morals and beliefs which I refer to as my own moral compass. It is something I will never comprise in order to get ahead in life or my career. What you see is what you get. When life has gotten hard I am of the mindset that we are only given as much as we are able to handle. If people cannot accept you for who you are: let them. It’s all about how you perceive things and it’s important that we are only in control of our own thoughts and actions. I’ve been fortunate enough to have written and have my first book published called Becoming the Change: Five Essential Elements Towards Being Your Best Self. God willing there will be more books that I write that hopefully will inspire others for years to come. Since the pandemic I have been producing short inspirational videos based on famous quotes almost every day to inspire others to be the change they wish to see in the world. I’ve even discovered I have the ability to do “voices” (see Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire). I find it entertains others during Talent Shows at schools or even just friends/family and who knows…. this could become my next career doing voiceovers for cartoons. 🙂
My purpose in this life and for the next 50 years is to continue to positively impact the lives of others through endless love and inspiration. I cannot think of anything I’d rather do.
Becoming The Change 