“Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to power is to choose to limit oneself—to serve.”
—William P. Young

Relationships have the power to either strengthen a school’s culture or quietly erode it. The difference lies in intentional leadership. Every administrator plays a critical role in shaping whether relationships become a source of unity, trust, and growth—or disengagement and division.

For leaders new to a campus, the first responsibility is not to act, but to learn. Take time to fully immerse in the life of the school. Attend events, walk the halls, observe interactions, and listen carefully. Pay attention to the unspoken norms—how staff collaborate, how students respond to adults, and how families engage with the school. These observations provide invaluable insight into the existing culture and reveal where it thrives and where it needs support.

During this time, be intentional about connecting with every member of the school community. This means everyone—from teachers and office staff to custodial teams and cafeteria workers. Each person contributes to the heartbeat of the school, and each deserves to feel seen and valued. Authentic relationships are built when people know they matter, regardless of title or role.

The same principle applies to students and their families. Seek to understand their stories, backgrounds, and aspirations. When people feel genuinely known, trust begins to grow. Trust, in turn, becomes the foundation for meaningful collaboration and shared success. Demonstrating respect for their experiences and meeting their needs with empathy strengthens that bond.

There will be moments—especially with students—when efforts to build relationships are met with resistance. It is important not to interpret this as rejection. Often, resistance is rooted in past experiences: broken trust, instability, or prior negative encounters with schools or authority figures. Instead of withdrawing, remain patient and persistent. Look for entry points through interests, passions, or small moments of connection. Sometimes the simple act of consistently showing up is what begins to break down barriers.

For administrators who have been part of a school for years, the work does not shift away from relationships—it deepens. Maintaining and strengthening those connections requires ongoing intention. Relationships are not static; they must be nurtured continuously. If relationship-building has not been a central focus in the past, there is always an opportunity to reset. Leadership begins again each day, and it is never too late to choose a more relational approach.

At the core of every relationship is a basic human need: the desire for purpose, belonging, and significance. Strip away the pressures of testing, budgets, and accountability measures, and what remains is this truth—people want to feel that what they do matters and that they are part of something meaningful. Schools have the unique opportunity to fulfill this need. They can become places where individuals feel not just employed or enrolled, but truly connected.

Creating that kind of environment does not happen by accident. It is cultivated through daily actions—how people are greeted, how conflicts are handled, how successes are celebrated, and how challenges are supported. From the moment someone steps onto campus, whether staff, student, family member, or visitor, they should feel a sense of welcome and belonging.

Yes, this work requires time, consistency, and effort. It demands humility and a willingness to serve rather than control. But the return on that investment is immeasurable. Strong relationships build resilient communities, sustain positive culture, and create conditions where both people and performance can thrive. Over time, these connections become the foundation that carries a school forward—especially when it matters most.